[#5] How To Make Fake Friends

We all love having some friends, right?

Well, the formula to making some authentic friends is hard and time-consuming, so I’m going to teach you how to make some fake friends! Easy peasy.

  1. First off, you’ll have to create a Facebook account.
  2. Next, make sure you add someone you don’t know as your bestie.
    Hint: It would make more sense to choose someone with attractive profile pictures.
  3. Chat it up! Stalk them and find out what they like!
  4. Ultimate level of fake friendships: When they add you on Skype and you have Skype dates. With live video and all.

If you follow these steps, I can guarantee you this:

All satire aside, back in my naive days before I came to college, I thought that I could make some genuine friends via the social network. I followed all the steps to the guide I made up above and I thought everything would be just splendid when I would finally meet my “friends” face-to-face in college, but I was sorely mistaken.

See, the problem with the social media is that people can make up whatever the heck they want online. They can paint a beautiful picture of themselves and say they are the awesomest people in the world. When, in fact, they turn out to be completely different from their self proclaimed description of themselves. It could be the fact that they actually are not self-aware of how they really are, but I think that most people like to portray themselves in a better, fake light to warp the reality of their true person-hood.

I’m not saying that the social network is a terrible evil, but it definitely is NOT a tool to make new friends. It is an instrument that allows us to reconnect with old friends and to make connections with different people. Don’t despair and be disillusioned when the online friend you met isn’t the person you thought he’d be. It’s just the way we’re wired: we want our image to be protected and exalted at all cost.

A true friendship takes time, love, pain, hurt, trust, and a lot of hard work. My dad once told me that the hardest thing to do in the world is to maintain relationships. But the greatest joys in life come with great sacrifice, no? So, if your goal is to forge lots of faux-friends, follow my guideline above step-to-step… it’ll work wonders. But cheap things usually don’t last.

What is your definition of friendship? I’d love to hear your input below.

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4 responses to “[#5] How To Make Fake Friends

  1. Friendship: commitment, sacrifice, humility, intentionality, servanthood, bearing eachothers burdens, accountability, loving at ALL times- not just when its easy or convenient…

  2. i don’t have a facebook page but i never understood why people get so excited by the number of friends they have on their page, it’s like a morbid collection of mugshots

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